The Unquestionable Superiority of the Oxford Comma #2

Before going into specific grammatical examples, I believe we should begin with a more general view of the Oxford comma’s supremacy.

That is to say, of course, that we should place trust in those organizations that specialize in language arts. After all, we use the same argument for other issues, don’t we? When discussing global climate change, we look to the scientific community rather than politicians for answers, right? Well, uh…

Anyway, those organizations that support the Oxford comma are much more authoritative and reliable than those that do not. First off, there’s obviously Oxford University, which is, like, the most English-y place in the world. The Oxford English Dictionary, for example, is the apex of all lexicons. When somebody says, “That word was just added to the dictionary,” they should be referring to the OED. Otherwise, they’re referring to some bullshizzle like Merriam Webster, my objections of which comprise a topic for another time.

Moving on, other reputable sources include Harvard, The Chicago Manual of Style, The Elements of Style, the American Psychological Association, and even MLA.

Now then, let’s take a look at some Oxford comma infidels: The Associated Press, The Times, The New York Times

See a pattern? Why, of course. They’re all journalists! These guys want to save a few extra bucks on ink. And when you realize how much money one can save by a simple font switch, the temptation of excluding a comma in all of your newspapers is an enticing one.

“But Fiddle,” you ask, “why not sacrifice the Oxford comma for those extra greenbacks? I, for one, welcome our new journalist overlords.”

To which I reply that the preservation of language is more important than CEO-san being able to afford his third Lamborghini. For instance, the American use of punctuation with quotation marks is objectively illogical because of some difficulties in typesetting during the time in which American and British English deviated. As of now, I doubt that we will ever be able to reverse that unfortunate error, even though our current typesetting technology creates no problem with using the quotation marks logically. (Incidentally, I find that to be the only area in which British English beats American English, but again, that’s a topic for another time.)

Oh, and there’s also this proofreading service, appropriately named “Oxford Comma,” among the reputable side of organizations. We were considering having them go over Noble Works to check for typos, but a rough estimate reveals that their standard package would cost about $42,000 for the whole visual novel, so we will have to wait until our annual bake sale fundraiser for that.

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